When I first came to being spiritual, I accepted Christ as my Savior. I didn't have any problem with that and, although I tried, I just could not fall back when the preacher touched my forehead. I thought there was something wrong with me; my Faith wasn't strong enough - I'm sure because I didn't know what real Faith was - or I was too bad, even for that.
I kept going to different churches for about six months and never fell backwards, never felt a glow when I was supposed to. It was pretty frustrating. I tried Protestant, I tried Lutheran, Evangelism, I even tried Catholicism. That ended for all time when my wife's priest refused to marry us because we didn't attend his church enough. Denise had been going there since she was a child.
I wound my way through different faiths until I was sick and tired of the whole thing; rituals, no you can't have communion, you're a sinner, and the worst, an angry, vengeful God. How could that be? It couldn't, it's ridiculous.
Finally, through my astrology and my search for the Truth, I began to realize that it would be my Truth and no one else's. Everything else was gibberish; I couldn't make hide nor hair of the bible. I think I remember Jesus saying, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, all the rest is rhetoric." The golden rule. It made a lot of sense to me. And it was simple. I loved simple. I believe that Jesus didn't want us to idolize him but rather to realize that he was the example that we should follow. I didn't like being confused, frustrated and being told that I was a sinner. Hell, I knew that! But I no longer wanted to be one. Which is one main reason I hung up my guns.
I was learning about spirit - not religion - and Faith by listening to my own heart. I prayed and I prayed, knees on the floor next to my bed. It felt good but something was missing. I didn't feel right asking for things. Or situations or absolution. If God was a loving, caring God, H/She would understand that without me having to talk about it.
Then I started thinking about Angels and met a few. Not with wings and beautiful glow, but ordinary people who not only helped me at times but actually saved my life on a couple of occasions. I felt very good about that. Then I started running into people or reading their books, who told me about spirit and the Soul. I learned that God was in my heart and that I was God individuated. I learned about the Soul and it's long journey home.
I learned that prayer was something to be lived every day, not just at night or on Sunday. Prayer was a way of living. That made sense to me, too. I had married a lady who knew all these things already and I was changed while being with her. I realized that I was blessed having her and my two, beautiful daughters. And for my life, regardless how hard it got. And it got hard. Really hard. As we passed through those times, I began to understand what Faith was all about. It's not belief, it's Knowing. There's a huge difference.
I found the direct connection between my God and I and it was so, so personal. I never pray to Saints or Goddesses or to Witches - and I had met a few of those; really nice people with the right love in their hearts. I just maintained my connection directly to my God.
And finally, I learned how to ask for things that I needed. That the universe was a reflection of me. My needs, my wants and my glory. I learned about the law of attraction; that how you think determines what and who you encounter. It was a tremendous revelation to me.
I learned to ask God and my Angels for the perfect solution to my situation, whatever it was. I knew that I sure didn't understand everything that I was dealing with, but I knew my God and my Angels did. Since that incredible lesson, I know that whatever I need - not want - the perfect solution would come my way. And it has, every time.
I also know that without Christ, the world is in real trouble. I don't believe that Jesus is going to come back to be on television, I have Faith that the Christ is going to come back as an awakening in our hearts. The knowing that the world needs to continue on in the Light. There are terrible times ahead, we all know that. If we don't we need to pull our heads out of the sand and listen, quietly, to that voice within.